When was the last time YOU held two of your best girlfriends down, forced them to try on the same stupid t-shirt you were... and THEN gathered photographic evidence? It's always a fun time when department stores switch to holiday hours, stay open till midnight AND are located directly across the street from a drinking establishment.

Good times...

Cosmo, what's the deal?!

I'm a big fan of magazines. They're normally reserved for travel because they're like a pretty little glossy colorful treat for me but, I purchased a Cosmo today. I normally get my style/fashion/dirt info off of the net but I was at the grocery store and felt a little nostalgic so I threw it on the conveyor belt. They really DO make you feel like a kid again. All of the ads for things that you STILL, in your adult life, CANNOT AFFORD. Fun stuff.

I came to a screeching halt at the "Smart Girlfriends Do THIS, Not THAT" article. It's supposed to be loaded with ways to really win your guy over and I can't read it without wincing. The first suggestion is: Watch the game with his friends. I'm not sure why he'd want that and furthermore, why would you? I know this is about selflessness and tapping into what your guy is "into" but- if you don't actually LIKE sports.. why put either of the pair through that torment? The little photo even depicts 3 guys and a girl (YOU) on the couch watching the game. This is GUY TIME... and I can't stand the fact that Cosmo wants YOU to crash that. I don't want my guy tagging along when I go shopping with my friends... and I don't WANT him to WANT to join us either. It IS healthy for people to be independent within a relationship and I'm not quite sure why there are so many who haven't figured that out.

I can't completely dog Cosmo out. There are a few bits of helpful wisdom within that particular article that could prove to be very helpful for a girl or two.. but.. I'm gonna keep ranting cause it feels good.. and that's what blogging's all about.

Another piece of "helpful" advice suggests leaving a delicate necklace at his place versus the old toothbrush routine. They claim it will make him think of YOU in similar terms every time he sees it. Really? A guy is REALLY gonna look at the dainty necklace you left on his nightstand and say "Wow... that girl is so special and flowery and dreamy!" Just like WE prefer to think that guys give us credit for having a brain... I'm pretty sure they can see right through the clever necklace scheme.

Again, I'm not out to destroy Cosmo. It's been a fun read. There are just too many misconceptions out there and all of these mags promote them. Just because most of us have common sense, it doesn't mean there isn't a girl out there clinging to every single word printed. That scares me. And, to that imaginary girl: Honey, if you're gonna do it- don't leave the good bling. Chances are, you've already read the article a few pages down that tells you it's liberating and mesmerizing to sleep with him on the first date. You're not getting that necklace back... OR a follow up call.

Dammit Beyonce!! You had me at "No,No,No"....

Alright, so here's my deal with Beyonce. I've never been super attracted to her music but some thing's happened to her lately. Maybe the leap into womanhood with her recent marriage? Not sure. Regardless, the girl is KILLING IT! I checked out the first single off of her new CD- "If I Were A Boy" and really got into the hook. Then, the kicker... that super annoying club song with screeches and twangs "Put A Ring On It". That song was supposedly recorded by her alter-ego, Sasha Fierce. In my opinion, Sasha Fierce should jump off a bridge and let Beyonce shine. I can't stand it when artists try to summon their "alter-ego". That person always ends up being a huge tool. Case in point: Garth Brooks. What a nightmare. The rest of the Beyonce tracks are DEAD ON and Sasha Fierce sounds like some ghetto-fied wannabe. The absolute cream of the crop.... her rendition of "Ave Maria". WOW. Bells. Whistles. As hard as it is for me to admit it... That song is so beautiful, it's therapy. I cried. I turned it up louder. I cried some more. I probably listen to it 5 times a day. Do yourself a favor- if you don't purchase the tracks, at least take a listen on her MySpace page: http://www.myspace.com/beyonce You're welcome!

I Did My Best

So, I was at Macy's over the weekend. Decided to take advantage of their big pre-Veterans Day sale. In the process, as a bit of a gag, I tried on a pair of super hot Kenneth Cole stiletto's. The heel was four inches. I walked like a giraffe in them but I figured, If Paris Hilton can do it- dammit, SO CAN I!!!! Two random women complimented me on the shoes and that was all it took. Of course, they only saw me standing still. So my theory was that I'd buy the shoes and strut around the house until I got comfortable in them. If you know anything about me, you understand what a HUGE undertaking this was. I was really stepping outside of the box.

Got them home. Failed miserably. It hurts and I'm certain I will die in those shoes if I leave the house wearing them. They are a beautiful piece of artwork but I have to take them back to the store today and it pains me. But.. it doesn't pain me as much as it would if I wore them out for the night.

I'll go back to ballerina flats, sandals and being a boy. It's all good.

NOTE: I have since returned those heinous death traps. I think I should probably just stick to being me. I'm damn good at it!

Catching up. Sorta.

Alllllright, I've been slacking on this blog thing and I'm absolutely sorry for it. I tend to do this thing where I let my thoughts bottle and then I carry the bottle around for an extended period of time and then I trip and smash the bottle on the floor and there are gooey thoughts and feelings spewed all over the sidewalk. On the flip side, I don't do that in relationships so- I suppose that's a good thing... for me, anyway.

So, let's talk about how I'm a spinster. I had this fabulous moment with my mom Sunday morning when we met for breakfast. My spinach and mushroom omelet was delicious and perfectly prepared. Not to get WAY off topic but I'm SO thankful for the little breakfast place I found down the street from my house. I'm even more grateful for the tiny Asian lady who owns the place and has mastered the skill of creating the perfect New York bagel. Continuing... we finish breakfast and I can tell she's attempting to have a mother-daughter moment ala the Lifetime Network. She pulls this little Ziplock baggie out of her purse and I see something glimmering and get all excited. Well, the bling happened to be an antique amethyst ring that my grandmother left to her. I LOVE IT! It's chunky. It's in style. It's obnoxious. It's exactly like ME! So, I'm done reeling from the gold rush and there's one more piece in the baggie. My face drops the second she removes it... She starts to tell me how much this charm means to her because she got it when she was pregnant with me. Granted, it's the standard preggo gift. The charm depicting a mother cradling a baby. But, the more she kept talking... the deeper the hole she was digging... and she started to sound like the nanny from the Muppet Babies. All I could hear was "Since I have completely abandoned hope that you will ever have a child, I am giving you this now so it doesn't have to eat up space in my jewelery box". I know she didn't intend for the moment to transition into what it did but I was pretty rocked for the rest of the day. Don't get me wrong... I've always known that building a family was something that would happen later in life for me... and by "later in life" I mean, after 30- as opposed to almost every single person I went to high school with whose already married and two babies deep... not that there's anything wrong with that. My priorities have just always been different. Yes, I'm one of those maniacal creatures who has always had a plan for everything.

On to the next thought bubble: I've had this discussion a few times over the past week. Where did my personality come from? I'm not my mother. Not my father. If I had to narrow it down- I'm pretty sure I'm a conglomeration of my mom's mom (for her artsy personality and outlandish wardrobe choices) and my mom's dad (got his sense of humor, FOR SURE... and I'm SO thankful for it!). I'm also my dad's mom (she was a hard ass but always the life of the party) and my dad's dad (that Gus is SO unbelievably stubborn and sarcastic. he WILL live to be 200 years old). It's so strange when you really break it down and find the root of where you came from... in my case, rootS. I think I'm gonna get into a grander character breakdown over the next few days because I'm pretty sure I can learn a whole lot about myself through their trials and tribulations.

I should stop now. Like I mentioned... I've dropped the bottle and now there's goo everywhere...

Oh boy, here goes...

So, my weekend began super early this time around.

Thursday:

The "Just Us Girls" event went off even better than expected. The place was mobbed with women checking out all sorts of cool events. I hosted along with Jennifer Ross, Amy Navarro, Tracy St George and Liz and Suzanne from Channel 12. There were so many things going on, I doubt I made it through every booth but I had a great time. Nothing better than free champagne and yummy grub! I also sold my gold! I had a bunch of crappy old chains and a nameplate from highschool. Everything was tangled and tarnished. They actually gave me a decent sized check for it and I walked away happy. Great silent auction which I wasn't very um... silent....about. Here's the deal, a few weeks ago- Crystal Creations came here to the radio station and all of the ladies got to create whatever they wanted. I made a kick-ass brown, yellow and gold double necklace and fell in love with it. I decided it would be my mission to win this thing in the Susan G. Komen foundation silent auction. I got a little aggressive.... especially after several glasses of good champagne. Ended up telling the crowd, while on stage, that I would outbid them regardless of their bid and I guess my strategy worked because I won! I get to pay for and pick up my fantastical necklace this week :)

Friday:

Oakwood Grill. Good times, as always... despite the guy who walked up behind me and unzipped my dress without being invited to do so. He's lucky to be alive today. I must have been in a good mood due to the el cheap-o $5 vodka bar. The Palm Beach Fire Dept. was serving up Jello shots and other assorted goodies for the Big Heart Brigade charity, which was nice. I am convinced, regardless of looks and personality, any firefighter can pick up ANY woman simply based upon their occupation. It's SO funny to watch them in action! After Oakwood- drove down to Boynton to Slainte. Met up with Stacey since she was in town for the first time in FOREVER. Erica showed her lovely face as well. Boynton must have been jumping because, within an hour of my arrival, I came to find out that Sara, Phil AND Katie were all there as well. None of us had any prior plans- so that was really strange. Ate at Bar Louie (cause I'm obsessed with their hummus platter) and then went to catch the band at Slainte. Long night.

Saturday:

Woke up feeling SUPER uninspired to dress up for our Simply Wicked Halloween party at Bradleys. I'm not sure why. Maybe the hangover. Maybe it was the rain and the gloomy weather. Regardless, I hiked over the Super Target and wandered aimlessly for about 2 hours. I grabbed some fishnet stockings, some ballerina slippers and about 8 or 9 other things. I don't know what I was thinking. Got home and tried on a few combos. Found an old 80's Madonna-style dress in my closet and some bright red lipstick. Decided I'd go for a pinup girl. I watched a tutorial on YouTube about how to get my hair all pinned up. Did it... it looked awesome. And then came the rain... The hair came crashing down and quickly ended up in a bumped ponytail. It remained that way for the rest of the night. So, I wore my old glasses, my dress, my fishnets, red lipstick... my boss, Bob, said I was 1957. It was a good year....

The Simply Wicked party went well. Bradley's was slammed!! I got a great surprise when I found out that Kris' entire Bachelorette party chose to bring the party my way! We headed over to Clematis and hit Roxy's. LOVED seeing all the creative costumes along the way. Bunch of banana's.... so simple yet, it speaks volumes. Got home around 4....asleep at 5.

Sunday:

Woke up at 10- had an appearance at Spookyville at the South Florida Fairgrounds. It's a safe Halloween village for families and kids. An awesome time! It was a bash to see all the cute kids in costumes. The 6 foot 5 dad dressed as Michael Meyers... probably not the best judgement. Vanilla Ice was there with his kids. Nope, not a costume. The balloon guy came over and told me to test him- so, I did... cause, come on... I'm ME. Told him to make me a balloon penguin annnnd sure enough... I have an exact replica of Chilly Willy sitting on my kitchen counter! He told me to keep it in my freezer so it never pops but that's just strange and I'm not biting.

I was SO tired and my feet were killing me by the time I got home from Spookyville- I took a bubble bath that lasted an hour and a half and left me withered like a prune. It was fantastic.

Phone- Shmone

Ohhhhhhkaaaay, I desperatly want that new T-Mobile Google phone. The G1. Here's the thing... Sometimes my researching abilities really put a damper on the level of fun I have in my life. I spent a good hour scouring the interwebs yesterday, reading every article I could find and watching every tutorial and demo available on YouTube. All in all, this phone sounds like a pile of steaming garbage. I was SO excited! I called T-Mobile Customer Care and asked about my plan options prior to jumping online and doing my homework. The chick I talked to got me ALL SORTS of worked up about it! She did her job very well. I was seriously convinced this Google phone had the ability to cure cancer. Then... dun dun dun...

I hit the blogs... and ran a few searches on the phone. Apparantly, the people who have it in their possession aren't very happy. 3.1 Megapixel camera... no video capability. The 3G feature doesn't work in most places yet. Calls drop like crazy. The GPS doesn't pick up a solid signal and keeps failing. I understand needing to work the kinks out but- What the crap? If Google's gonna attach their name to a device they should probably make sure it's stellar first, no?

I will never claim to know a hell of a lot about technology but I do know that I'm awfully tired of companies releasing a phone (IPhone), people paying the equilivant of a car payment for said phone, and then the company releasing the follow-up version 3 or 6 months later at a cheaper price. What's my incentive to go out and purchase the first version of ANY piece of technology?

Weekend Goodies

It was a LONG weekend! When's the government gonna get crackin' on that mandatory 4 day work week?!

Andrew's Halloween party was Friday night and there were good-times all around. There was no detail left out. Cobwebs on EVERYTHING and the MOST food I've ever seen at a Halloween party, ever. I tried to play ping pong for about 42 seconds before the vodka took over.

Saturday night- Went back to Taverna Opa. The new one inside Cityplace. Good eats! Atmosphere is bizarre though. It's not quite like the one in Hollywood. Locationally, it's perfect for me but- I'm not quite sure how that's gonna pan out for the longevity of that place. I think it needs to be set on the water. Also, it's a bit bright inside and if you're sitting outside, you are completley left out. I type that because... well, because they sat us outside and then closed the giant sliding windows- rendering us unable to hear the music but totaly able to watch how much fun the people were having dancing on tables inside. Besides that- my lemon chicken was delicious and despite the fact that I've tried on TWO occasions now to recreate it at home... I'll never be able to get it just right. I AM harboring a bit of resentment about the fact that I ordered the lemon chicken because I knew it was suposed to come with yummy grilled eggplant. I confirmed that with the waitress. I got cold string beans. Boo. Before all of that- I met a great listener who came over to my table to say "hello". She said she recognized me from an old TV spot, which was cool. I wish I could credit her by remembering her name but I only recall the fact that she is a dental hygenist up north somewhere. My bad. I always SAY I'm terrible with names but people don't really grasp that until I have to be introduced to them for the 30th time.

Sunday- Good stuff at Oktoberfest! The weather was PHENOMINAL! Got to listen to the band play the Chicken Dance and some good Johnny Cash. Michelob came out and did new flavor sampling. All I need to tell you about that... go to a specialty store and treat yourself to a 6 pack of their new Honey Brew. Delicious! The Pumpkin flavor... thumbs down. Met some fun listeners there as well- was recognized simply based upon my laugh several times this weekend. That's always strange for me. I have one of those cackles. People either LOVE or DESPISE it. And, guess what??? There's NOTHING I can do about it.

This week: TON of stuff going on. I love the last 3 months of the year. Always a busy bee. Of course, I'll keep ya posted. What's new with YOU? Oh, about the photo up top... I have NO IDEA who that guy is.... he looked like a hobbit. That's all I remember.

Pugs. Can't live with em.

In effort to gain as much attention as possible, my pug has now taken to peeing in areas of the house that are impossible for me to find until I actually hunt them down. Here's the deal... he's 4 years old. He KNOWS the drill. He is walked often and he knows how to flag me down if there's a special occasion and he needs to go out. This peeing routine just started a few months ago and has become more and more frequent. Most times, he'll do it after I've just finished spending the day with him. I leave.... he pees. It's kinda like seperation anxiety. I actually knew a couple who had a pug that used to have anxiety attacks and chew himself bloody (I think this is TWO blogs in a row where I've mentioned blood, now) he was on anti-depressants and all. I really can't see myself going to pick up my DOGS prozac prescription.... and I have enough trouble getting him into the shower- I don't forsee him saying "oh, time for my meds? sure... no problem". Anyway, I'm spending a small fortune on Clorox wipes and sanitizing spray in attempt to clean up after this gorgeous furry mess... when the heck does it end??

Friday... Woot Woot!!

It's Frrrriiiiidaaaaaay!! SO excited about that!! On tap for this weekend: A Halloween Party (the first of 3) A night out at CityPlace annnnd Oktoberfest. Never been to Oktoberfest but I'm sure jazzed to check it out! The last time I had German food was at the German buffet inside the World Showcase thingy at Epcot.... and THAT was like... um, maybe 5 boyfriends ago. So... it's been awhile and I miss the German beer and yummies. I'll probably have some sort of Brat and Pretzel bread related fantasy dream Saturday night. I also need to start shopping for my costume for our Simply Wicked party at Bradley's on the 25th. I figured it all out yesterday and I LOVE IT! Last years Simply Wicked party... I have a scar on my left knee from it. I fell UP the stairs. You must be thinking "Wowwie! That place HAS to be choc full of stairs!" You're probably picturing an entire Labyrinth of stairs. An elaborate winding staircase that twists and turns. Nope. They've got about 4 stairs leading to their outer patio and I managed to EAT IT while dancing my way up the second step. After arriving home- I spent the remainder of my evening crying on the floor of the shower while bleeding all over the place and screaming "Why ME?!?!?!". That night was AWESOME! Seriously... I don't regret a second of it... and I'm NOT a big fan of bleeding profusely. Moral of the story is: You should definitely not miss our Halloween party at Bradley's on the 25th! It starts at 10pm and I can't promise you REAL blood this year... but I CAN promise you a good buzz, great music and fabulous costumes. Yay! I adore the last 3 months of the year :)

Inspiration?

I'd like to begin this blog by telling you, the reader, that I'm feeling a ton of blog-related pressure. It's like some sort of blog-anxiety. I almost wish people would write and throw a few topics my way (DO IT!) so I can have stuff to rant about cause I'm an excellent ranter... definitely an excellent ranter. I look a foot to my right and see Bill typing away like Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and The City reference), chronicling every single thing we all do and say. He blogs just about every 5 minutes and it's pissing me off. I love Bill but sometimes I just wanna smack him in the face with my coffee mug . Seriously... look at this face! Now, I don't condone Bill Ryan-related violence but, should you run into him in public- I'd like you to feel free to tickle him unconscious. Hey! I just noticed my blog about nothing turned into a blog about my good friend Bill Ryan. How bout that?! I'm really starting to like this blogging thing. It's therapeutic! I think I'll write more later... Now, I need to get me one of them fancy pants IPhones or that new badass lookin' Google phone (which hits stores in less than 2 weeks!). Technology still scares me but I think I'll venture over to the dark side...

And so it begins....

As promised- I'm compiling a list of the things I'd like to do before... well, you know.

1- Eat tapas in Spain
2- Take a European castle tour
3- Go camping (when it's NOT 160 degrees out)
4- Learn how to take amazing photos
5- Visit Alcatraz
6- Pick peaches at an orchard
7- Play with a sloth (I'm aware that I stole this from AmTrekker but, it HAD to be done)
8- Get my dog a modeling gig
9- See a taping of The Daily Show (at least AUDITION to become a correspondant)
10-Zipline adventure tour in Kauai
11- Create at least ONE great piece of pottery on a wheel
12- Successfully decorate a small wedding cake

Any other suggestions??????

50 Things

We just interviewed this guy Brett Rounsaville amtrekker.com and he really struck a chord with me. I don't know if it's because he's the same age (okay, I'm lying.. he's a year YOUNGER than me) or if it's because I actually really like all of the stuff on his bucket list. The idea of forming a list of things to accomplish before I die has always been on my list of priorities but was never actually at the top. I think I just underestimated the value of my goals. I always assumed a bucket list had to be full of super-wacky dreams like sky diving and base jumping. You couldn't pay me any amount of money to even pretend to be interested in extreme thrill activities. However, when I began reading his list- I was struck by the fact that he started out just wanting to interact with a Sloth. YES... a SLOTH! I've always wanted to do the same! I realized something... I suppose I began crossing things off of my bucket list a few years ago without even HAVING an actual list. It probably started with my desire to get into radio. Check! Then, there was my wanting to pet a penguin... and, I'm not bragging or anything (YES I am) but I got to do that years ago and it was awesome even though the smell alone, could kill a small child. I can also cross off my first overseas trip to England and Amsterdam... but, I WANT MORE! That's the thing about traveling... It's more addicting than any drug out there. So... I'm going to form my list in full and start crossing some stuff off of that bad boy. Who's with me?

Let's get that cherry popped. My first blog...

So, here's my first blog. Lots of pressure... but... I'll take this thing out for a spin.

Okay, so-- I was just telling the show about this earlier today.... funny special on the History Channel that I watched last night. By "funny", I mean "terribly sad". They were examining the difference between the way famous people throughout history have handled trying situations. I laughed myself ridunculous when they compared Paris Hilton's body language to that of The President. Please don't misunderstand- I'm not a fan of either of the two but they showed a clip of Paris' exit from prison after serving her time. Then they showed a clip of G.W trying to exit through these giant double doors and failing miserably (we've all seen the clip). Well, after examining the body language between the two, they decided that Paris handled her situation more appropriately. She'd clearly practiced clasping her hands, walking briskly and keeping her shoulders back. Instead of doing her typical princess wave- she kept to herself and focused straight ahead on the car her parents were in. Then.... there's George. When he tried to open the set of double doors, they compared his reaction to that of a five year old. He pushes on the right door. Nothing. Pushes the left door. Nope. Pulls the right door. No dice. Pulls the left door... uh... No. He giggles a bit. Throws all of his weight into it to no avail. He looks over at the cameras the way a 5 year old boy would after successfully launching into a tantrum in the candy isle. He walks back to where he came from. He tells the crowd "Ha. The door wont open". Then Georgie decides to duck back behind a free standing wall-type thing and probably hung out there until everyone exited the room. According to the entire panel of behavioral experts- Paris Hilton (the chick who became famous for humping a dude while being filmed on a night-vision camera) WINS! She handles situations of strife with more grace than the leader of our country. Ho hum.

There.

That's my first blog. Voila.