Another reason why I'm totally cool with Ellen being the 4th judge on Idol....

I swear, I don't hate men...

Okay, I totally understand it may look that way. I was dogging on K-Fed just a blog ago and now, here I go again. It's not that I hate men. I hate stupid, irresponsible PEOPLE. Regardless of gender. Octomom, here's lookin' at you, kid!

If you haven't seen Jon Gosselin's interview with Good Morning America, it's absolutley INFURIATING. Watch this and then we shall discuss:



As a chick who has yet to actually birth a child, I can only IMAGINE how it must feel to be Kate right now. Not because of the hurtful things he said about her. Fact of the matter is, they're both guilty of staying together for far too long. How in the world does Kate explain to their EIGHT children what daddy means when he says he "despises" mommy?! Are you effin' serious, dude?! Telling the WORLD you DESPISE your wife, the mother of your EIGHT children?! LOSER. I know that children of divorce often fall victim to hearing about their parents dysfunction... I can personally contribute to the book... but, come on! The fact that Jon is crying about being ABUSED and being a VICTIM, is amazing! There's no possible way to look more ridiculous! What do you make of all of this?

Well, HELLLLLO there, big boy!!

No, your eyes are not deceiving you... This is Britney Spears' ex-husband/baby daddy/ professional sperminator, Kevin Federline. He's been spotted in Miami, splashing about in hotel pools with his super hot pro volleyball player girlfriend and two of his four children. I know, by the looks of it, baby number 5 appears to be on it's way. Wait... he's a man... eh, let me rephrase.... He's a boy. He can't give birth. So... Why the giant weight gain? Because K-Fed seems to have managed to ink himself a VERY lucrative deal with a weight loss company that has promised to whip him back into shape. I, myself, have ZERO room to talk because I've been endorsing a weight loss program for the past 4 years. Here's the difference between the two of us. Wait... there are about a thousand differences, THANK GOD. Here's ONE of the differences between us: I didn't purposely pack on a ton of weight just to get an endorsement deal so I could bypass getting a REAL job. Behind the scenes, people are saying that Kevin has been purposely binging on fatty foods in order to gain a TON of weight. He's basically putting his health at risk just to make a buck. Well, a million bucks. Celebs have done this before... it's nothing new... but, my issue is this-- HOW much more irresponsible can you get? He's a parent of FOUR young children who is a known chain smoker and a heavy drinker. Binging on fried Twinkies on top of that? Irresponsible.

I know times are tough and, trust me, there isn't a whole lot I wouldn't do for a million bucks but- I imagine that things change when you become a parent. I'd like to think most people want to be around for as long as possible. Barring unforeseen circumstances and health issues outside of your control-- wouldn't you put the Little Debbie cakes down and try to increase your chances of being around for your kids?

Diiiiiisney..... What are you doooooing to me??

I heard it on the news today. Actually, I play this fun game with the boyfriend where we have to "out-news" each other. First one to inform the other of a news story they aren't already aware of- gets a point. Sounds lame but we're nerds.

Anyway, he scored a point. He told me about Disney's Marvel buy-out. I'm not sure what this means for the future of the franchise and quite frankly, I'm scared.

Did they do it just so Wolverine could have some fresh chicks to hook up with?

What happens to the theme parks? Does Disney send Universal's Island's of Adventure a cease and desist? Remember... IOA has Marvel Island where they capitalize off of sales of hundreds of types of merchandise daily. We also have to take the rides into account. Hulk, Dr. Doom's Drop, Spider Man and the Storm ride. Will Disney FINALLY make MGM studios (or whatever they're calling it these days) a park for adults? Why not take Magic Kingdom and give it to the kids. Remove the Pirates ride. Revamp the park. Bring the little ones... fun for all! Epcot is for tech geeks and families who want to eat overpriced global delicacies all day long. Why not demolish MGM and gear it toward the grown-ups? Make a high-tech version of the Pirates ride. Utilize the Marvel rights and create simulators or coasters out of the characters/movies that haven't been used at Universal parks. Iron Man, Wolverine... yadda yadda...

Soooo many questions... but I assume time will tell.

Who knows? If it tickles Disney's fancy, they now have the right to turn Thor into a flaming homosexual. Things could get VERY interesting....

Pops

My Grandpa is THE MAN!

Click that link and check out the footage of my 94 1/2 year old Grandpa painting toys for charity.

SO proud of you, Pop!!

XOXO

My savior!

Thanks to my friend Erica, I am not ONE STEP closer to being a "girl".

Like many, I am artistically challenged when it comes time to apply makeup properly. I own a ton of eyeshadow colors but I use the same 4 over and over again. I get into a routine and never experiment because I just don't have the patience or time.

Over a fabulous breakfast with my girlfriends yesterday- I was clued in on this giant beauty secret. Erica whispered "So... have you seen it yet?" "Seen what?" I replied. "You know, the site that teaches you how to do EVERYTHING hair and makeup related. The one with all the tutorials." "Noooooo, I have not! And why didn't I get the memo?!" I snapped. Then Stacey jumped in with "Ohhh, you'll LOVE this chick. The sites' called MakeupGeek.com. It's this really pretty chubby chick ("chubby" meant in a complimentary way, of course) who know's EVERYTHING about makeup and hair! She films these tutorials and shows you how to do everything step by step!"

Low and behold- I logged on last night and... I. HAVE. FOUND. MY. SAVIOR.

http://www.makeupgeek.com/

You're welcome :)

Would you GROW UP already?!

So, my 29th birthday is in a few weeks and I can't help but feel like I have some growing up to do. I'm not bothered by the age... shit, I'm not even bothered by the gray hair. I am bothered by the unrelenting feeling that there's just ONE MORE project to be done around the house. When does it end? When do I finally get to sit on the couch, exhale, and say "Ah...I'm done..."? I know it's good to constantly want more for yourself but this is just ridiculous. I met with a financial planner thinking it would help me get my finances in order and he just confused me more. Evidently, I'm doing several things wrong and if I don't correct them ASAP, I'll be living with the trolls under a bridge.

I began cleaning out drawers... did my quarterly wardrobe assessment and dropped off a bunch of garbage bags full of clothing to Goodwill. Sold a buncha junk on Ebay. Bought a filing cabinet, labeled the files and sorted all of my documents. Still have that feeling. Looked out on the patio and it seemed bare. Maybe I needed to spruce it up? Went to Home Depot and purchased a really pretty clearanced patio set and some fun plants and herbs. The plants were dead before I could blink. Then I thought... "Maybe I need a grill?" I DON'T need a grill. I don't even know how to grill! I find myself constantly pacing the house making mental lists of things that need to be done in order for me to... well... be "done". The list is impossible... and if I were to do everything on it- I'd be dirt poor at the end of it.

-New bedroom set
-Paint and redo bathroom
-New couches
-Set up 2nd bedroom
-Set up master bedroom

That's just the beginning of it and I'm already exhausted. I think I'll be happy with what I have and... as I creep closer to being another year older, I'll count my blessings and shut my mouth.

Sometimes, you don't need more STUFF... you need a good mental kick in the ass...